Being a Nomad

I wondered how I would feel once I got settled in here. I thought either I would be real homesick of Chapel Hill because I like it there and it has been a great couple of years, or I would love London and want to stay here after the program ends. As it turns out, I feel completely in the middle, and I think that may be something I will feel for a long time. After I lost the more traditional and predictable parents as the core type of family (I really don't mean for this to be a sob statement), I decided, without my knowing, that I was going to enjoy aspects of wherever I am but still always want to keep going somewhere else. When I lived in my hometown in Ohio in10th grade, I kept telling my mom how I wanted to move to NC, and then once I was there, all I could think about was getting to college. Now, don't get me wrong, I have not wished my life away by any means, I have enjoyed all of my time in chapel hill and wilmington, but a part of me has always been okay with the notion of just going somewhere new. So I decided to study abroad in London, and before I knew it, before I could even get to London, I was planning on the possibility of going to Bangkok immediately following the London program.....a trend is forming. I was close to deciding not to finish my application for the program in the spring to Thailand, but a part of me hated the notion of me not having an option to keep on moving once I left Chapel Hill. I think part of the situation is me wanting to explore and experience everything I can while I am in this point of my life, but also I think a large part of it is me being scared of hitting of stopping point, or constant, in my life, as it is relatively foreign to me since I was in my adolescence. It will be interesting to see when, or how, I become accustomed to one place enough for me to stay for a few years without thinking of my next step. Maybe I will never hit that point, some people, like my sister for example, are always enchanted with the idea or traveling. Others, like one of my brothers, can completely settle somewhere for a long time as long as he has people around him that will make him happy and stable. As for Thailand, that decision is still completely up in the air. I don't want to screw up my chances of setting up a good track record for grad schools by taking another semester away, but at the same time I can see myself being totally happy being in a place like that for my second part of this year. I do miss my family and being able to see some people more consistently, but I do enjoy this time in my life where everything around me is new, unpredictable, and downright exciting. If anyone ever finds an equation that includes all of those variables equaling a place for me to be....then by all means, share your knowledge. For now, I am going to continue living my very exciting and eccentric life here in London. Goodnight